you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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