Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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