I got chris browned last night
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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