? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
