he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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