maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
