I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I party with great urgency now.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
