Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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