You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
