I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
