my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
