if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
