i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
