oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
