Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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