No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
we're making bets on your personal life
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
