Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
