how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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