i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
