Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
