I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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