Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
