Christians are straight up FREAKS
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
