you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I wish you could order shots online.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
