I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Let the clothes fall where they may.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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