yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
