I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
