she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
