he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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