just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
