Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
