You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Randomize
