That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
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