I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
