youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
