UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Still dying that you shit outside
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Bring me that man meat
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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