maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
