Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
