he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
He told me they were just razor bumps!
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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