my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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