congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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