I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
