hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
