I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
