I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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