omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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