left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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