Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
