I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
