Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
