dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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